On the boat day 4

I can't decide what my body is up to at the moment, if my back isn't causing some problem then my meso is.  After a lovely evening having dinner at the Captains table, we hit rocky waters.  Coming back to the room was a real laugh, although totally sober my heels made it near impossible to stay upright along the passageways.  I had the night sweats and woke this morning with crushing heart pains, instead of waiting to see if they would go I thought I'd take some morphine but as I sat up the taste of bile rose.  Not sure if the pain is my hernia or the meso on the pericardium so I didn't take any.  Will see how the day goes.

The heat has been great, and after asking around prior to leaving, for the first time in years I actually went in the jacuzzi with the bubbles on, wow did it make my legs feel good as well as my back.  Am still concerned about the size of my tummy, shame I couldn't blast that away!

Not sure either whether those smoking tablets are out of my system, have felt really low and wishing I had my own space well away from hubby.  Nothing he is doing is right in my eyes at the moment.  His oversized belly seems to have doubled in size, the way he stands and pushes it out makes me cringe and then when eating its like he's shovelling food down his throat.  Why do tablets take so long to get out of the system or is this how I feel!

On a good note Mavis together with Debbie's daughter spoke about living with meso at the Houses of Parliament on the 2nd, I was honoured to be asked too but the holiday was already booked.  Although I maybe one of the longest survivors on British Soil, my input wouldn't have been much different to theirs, we just have to hope the people receiving the presentation can truly understand how difficult living with this cancer is.  The fact that we not only fight meso but have to fight the system to for treatments.

We have docked today at Brindisi, a commercial port in Italy.  Last time I docked here was when I was travelling home from Rhodes back in my 20's.  Yesterday we spent in Dubrovnik, my imagine ran wild in this perfect medieval city, if I closed my eyes I could just see the White Queen type life style running through the streets.

So it's time for breakfast if we can get ourselves pulled around.  I think it will be a walk around the town then on the deck to sunbathe.

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