Hi Folks. I wanted to provide an update to all of you faithfully following the blog. First, do me a quick favor: take a deep breath, and promise not to freak out. Promise? Good. Here we go...
We were admitted to the hospital last Wednesday because Ash was experiencing some pain on her right side. I won't bore you with too many details or the play-by-play chronology of the last few days, but here is the synopsis:
- Her pleural effusion (cancer in the lining of her lungs) is worse
- She has new liver mets, and indications are they are starting to affect liver function
- Her hips and back are hurting, making it difficult to even get out of bed (likely from bone mets)
- Her right side is hurting (some combination of liver mets, pleural effusion, or other issues)
- She has been pretty "out of it" due to anti-anxiety drugs and pain meds she's been on
We started a new round of chemo last night. While it is the only option available to us that has a chance of treating her cancer, there is also a high likelihood it could cause liver failure. So our options were to chance it with the chemo, or go home to hospice now. Those of you who know Ashleigh and have been following the blog over the last year won't be surprised by her decision: "Go big or go home".
So with that as the background, here is where our heart is:
Praises:
+ That her liver was well enough to receive chemo at all (this was debatable for ~24 hours)
+ That she was well enough to come downstairs to the lobby and see the boys for a while today
+ For awesome doctors and nurses who have supported us over the last few days and last year. Specifically for our main oncologist, who is a literal God-send to us. She is the perfect balance between hopeful, supportive, realistic, and always straightforward with us.
+ For an amazing outpouring of support and love from our family and friends. Help taking care of the boys, help with logistics, with food, and everything else we could possibly need
+ For a wonderful nanny solution for the boys (thanks to those of you who helped look!)
+ For my wife's continued good spirits, good humor, and hope.
Prayers:
+ That the chemo would be very effective at killing cancer
+ That Ashleigh's liver would process the chemo without additional stress
+ For increased times of alertness from Ash
+ For her pain to be well-managed, or preferably non-existent
+ That God would continue to get more glory from her life than from her death...but that either way we would be faithful to proclaim the hope we have that comes from our salvation in Christ. The certainty of eternity with God, especially in the face of death, is the only reason any of us are functioning at this point.
Two final points. First, remember when you promised not to freak out? Well you promised. All our immediate needs are being taken care of. No one needs to take drastic action (e.g. jumping on an airplane to come see us) and for the love of all that is good in the world please don't blow up Ashleigh's phone with texts, no matter how well-intentioned. She's not in a condition to respond right now. Please email either of us or call or text me. My natural inclination is to avoid over-sharing like the plague, but I want to give you an update so you'll know how to pray. I'm trusting you to not freak out - we aren't. Which leads to point 2...
Second, whatever the outcome is from here forward, we want to continue to emphasize that God is in control. Just earlier today our doctor was in here explaining that we really need to temper our hope that the chemo would be effective (she said maybe a 10% chance). Ashleigh very deliberately and lucidly said "my hope is not in chemo, or in you (looking at the doctor), or in him (looking at me), but in a life well-lived and in eternity with God." Our faith allows us to face this situation head-on, not because of some cultural expectation or some psychological effect, but because of who our faith is in: Jesus.
We were admitted to the hospital last Wednesday because Ash was experiencing some pain on her right side. I won't bore you with too many details or the play-by-play chronology of the last few days, but here is the synopsis:
- Her pleural effusion (cancer in the lining of her lungs) is worse
- She has new liver mets, and indications are they are starting to affect liver function
- Her hips and back are hurting, making it difficult to even get out of bed (likely from bone mets)
- Her right side is hurting (some combination of liver mets, pleural effusion, or other issues)
- She has been pretty "out of it" due to anti-anxiety drugs and pain meds she's been on
We started a new round of chemo last night. While it is the only option available to us that has a chance of treating her cancer, there is also a high likelihood it could cause liver failure. So our options were to chance it with the chemo, or go home to hospice now. Those of you who know Ashleigh and have been following the blog over the last year won't be surprised by her decision: "Go big or go home".
So with that as the background, here is where our heart is:
Praises:
+ That her liver was well enough to receive chemo at all (this was debatable for ~24 hours)
+ That she was well enough to come downstairs to the lobby and see the boys for a while today
+ For awesome doctors and nurses who have supported us over the last few days and last year. Specifically for our main oncologist, who is a literal God-send to us. She is the perfect balance between hopeful, supportive, realistic, and always straightforward with us.
+ For an amazing outpouring of support and love from our family and friends. Help taking care of the boys, help with logistics, with food, and everything else we could possibly need
+ For a wonderful nanny solution for the boys (thanks to those of you who helped look!)
+ For my wife's continued good spirits, good humor, and hope.
Prayers:
+ That the chemo would be very effective at killing cancer
+ That Ashleigh's liver would process the chemo without additional stress
+ For increased times of alertness from Ash
+ For her pain to be well-managed, or preferably non-existent
+ That God would continue to get more glory from her life than from her death...but that either way we would be faithful to proclaim the hope we have that comes from our salvation in Christ. The certainty of eternity with God, especially in the face of death, is the only reason any of us are functioning at this point.
Two final points. First, remember when you promised not to freak out? Well you promised. All our immediate needs are being taken care of. No one needs to take drastic action (e.g. jumping on an airplane to come see us) and for the love of all that is good in the world please don't blow up Ashleigh's phone with texts, no matter how well-intentioned. She's not in a condition to respond right now. Please email either of us or call or text me. My natural inclination is to avoid over-sharing like the plague, but I want to give you an update so you'll know how to pray. I'm trusting you to not freak out - we aren't. Which leads to point 2...
Second, whatever the outcome is from here forward, we want to continue to emphasize that God is in control. Just earlier today our doctor was in here explaining that we really need to temper our hope that the chemo would be effective (she said maybe a 10% chance). Ashleigh very deliberately and lucidly said "my hope is not in chemo, or in you (looking at the doctor), or in him (looking at me), but in a life well-lived and in eternity with God." Our faith allows us to face this situation head-on, not because of some cultural expectation or some psychological effect, but because of who our faith is in: Jesus.
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