Last week was our 8th Anniversary. There's not too much to show or tell - this year's anniversary dinner was a pretty low-key event for obvious reasons. In spite of everything, we had a lot to celebrate.
Since her metastatic diagnosis, Ashleigh and I have often discussed that the last year has been pretty amazing. Despite being a year marked by cancer treatments, most treatments had relatively few side-effects and up until two months ago we have predominantly been able to live our lives unaffected by cancer. We have watched David grow through his first year into a speedy crawler with a toothy grin and infectious laugh. Noah has blossomed into a wonderfully verbal and happy (if stereotypically contrary) two-year-old. We have been loved and supported by family, our Sunday School, friends, neighbors, and strangers alike in ways we would have never dreamed. We have reveled in simple joys as God has been teaching us to never take for granted a new sunrise. And our love has grown deeper and more mature as we have lived out "for better or worse" in real life.
We had a great conversation over dinner about an a capella competition that doesn't exist - possibly inspired by recently watching Pitch Perfect 2 together. Still, it was the most interactive conversation we had in a few days, and I relished it. We discussed whether Redline was going to win (I assured her they would). Maybe it's not the healthiest thing to play along with delusions, but I wouldn't have tried to jolt her back to reality (and the associated confusion and uncertainty) for anything in the world.
Something Ash got in her head somewhere along the way was that she wanted to wash each others' feet as part of our wedding ceremony. For those not familiar - this is based in a story in John 13 where Jesus washes his disciples' feet as a way to show how we should love and serve one another. The wedding planner initially balked at the logistics - removing footwear is not something attempted in a typical Baptist wedding! Still, you won't be surprised to learn Ash held firm to her vision and I (the dutiful husband-to-be) tried to support her. I think the result was great; we weren't front-and-center while this occurred in the ceremony, we did it off to the side while an A cappella group performed "Take my Life and Let it Be". We re-watched our wedding video on our anniversary and I'm still really happy with how that turned out - shout-out to Jason, Shane, David, Nikki, Matt, and Rachel, our awesome GT A cappella buddies!
Each anniversary since then, we have repeated the symbolic act of washing each others' feet. It served as a yearly reminder to us that our goal in marriage was to serve one another, to put the other's needs before our own. This year the foot washing was a bit less symbolic than in previous years. I helped Ashleigh walk back to bed after dinner in the picture above and she stepped in some spilled dinner along the way. A perfect segue into our tradition!
The reason I tell the story is what happened next: I washed her feet and put away the basin, fully intending to let her end of the tradition slide this year since she wasn't really in a physical or mental state to reciprocate. In a rare moment of lucidity (and, after 8 years, a not-so-rare moment of Ashleigh letting me know in no uncertain terms that I was being an idiot), she demanded I bring back the basin. :-) Despite the pain and limited range of motion for which I would have gladly given her a pass, she insisted that tradition be followed - she wanted to communicate to me that she still, even now, wants to put my needs in front of her own and serve me, insofar as she's able. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a love that deserves at least 62 more anniversaries to celebrate adequately.
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| A simple meal from EatZi's with some of Ash's favorites - green beans and shrimp |
Since her metastatic diagnosis, Ashleigh and I have often discussed that the last year has been pretty amazing. Despite being a year marked by cancer treatments, most treatments had relatively few side-effects and up until two months ago we have predominantly been able to live our lives unaffected by cancer. We have watched David grow through his first year into a speedy crawler with a toothy grin and infectious laugh. Noah has blossomed into a wonderfully verbal and happy (if stereotypically contrary) two-year-old. We have been loved and supported by family, our Sunday School, friends, neighbors, and strangers alike in ways we would have never dreamed. We have reveled in simple joys as God has been teaching us to never take for granted a new sunrise. And our love has grown deeper and more mature as we have lived out "for better or worse" in real life.
We had a great conversation over dinner about an a capella competition that doesn't exist - possibly inspired by recently watching Pitch Perfect 2 together. Still, it was the most interactive conversation we had in a few days, and I relished it. We discussed whether Redline was going to win (I assured her they would). Maybe it's not the healthiest thing to play along with delusions, but I wouldn't have tried to jolt her back to reality (and the associated confusion and uncertainty) for anything in the world.
Something Ash got in her head somewhere along the way was that she wanted to wash each others' feet as part of our wedding ceremony. For those not familiar - this is based in a story in John 13 where Jesus washes his disciples' feet as a way to show how we should love and serve one another. The wedding planner initially balked at the logistics - removing footwear is not something attempted in a typical Baptist wedding! Still, you won't be surprised to learn Ash held firm to her vision and I (the dutiful husband-to-be) tried to support her. I think the result was great; we weren't front-and-center while this occurred in the ceremony, we did it off to the side while an A cappella group performed "Take my Life and Let it Be". We re-watched our wedding video on our anniversary and I'm still really happy with how that turned out - shout-out to Jason, Shane, David, Nikki, Matt, and Rachel, our awesome GT A cappella buddies!
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| 7/7/07 - We each wound up with one foot cleaner than the other |
Each anniversary since then, we have repeated the symbolic act of washing each others' feet. It served as a yearly reminder to us that our goal in marriage was to serve one another, to put the other's needs before our own. This year the foot washing was a bit less symbolic than in previous years. I helped Ashleigh walk back to bed after dinner in the picture above and she stepped in some spilled dinner along the way. A perfect segue into our tradition!
The reason I tell the story is what happened next: I washed her feet and put away the basin, fully intending to let her end of the tradition slide this year since she wasn't really in a physical or mental state to reciprocate. In a rare moment of lucidity (and, after 8 years, a not-so-rare moment of Ashleigh letting me know in no uncertain terms that I was being an idiot), she demanded I bring back the basin. :-) Despite the pain and limited range of motion for which I would have gladly given her a pass, she insisted that tradition be followed - she wanted to communicate to me that she still, even now, wants to put my needs in front of her own and serve me, insofar as she's able. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a love that deserves at least 62 more anniversaries to celebrate adequately.
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