Helping New Mothers

If someone is going to have their first baby, or just did, you may want to rush right in there and give your advice so that they can learn from your mistakes, or perhaps learn from your wisdom. Before you go rushing out to do this, stop and think for a moment. Remember what it was like for you when you had your first child. Some new mothers don't want this type of advice, even from their own mothers. If you want to help, there are some things you can do that are always going to be helpful, and will also give the new mom no reason to reject your presence.

First, understand that new mothers need privacy as they learn about breastfeeding or bottle feeding, and they need to bond with their babies. Yes, even your daughter needs time alone with your new grand-baby before you come in and take baby from her arms. Always ask before you hold the baby, and keep your visits short until she lets you know otherwise. In some cases, new mothers want their mothers around, so if she asks you to come stay, you can spend more time with the baby, but still try to allow mom to bond. She may need you for security more than anything else.

New mothers often don't want as much help with the baby as you may imagine. Instead, you can help them understand that the world is not going to stop because they have a baby but it is okay if they stop. They should try to sleep when the baby sleeps at first. This is harder than it sounds as there could be other children and such to attend too. You can help new mothers by helping them with the other things like their older children, answering the phone for them, and screening guests so they can get at least one nap in during the day.

Helping new mothers is often something you can do when they don't even know they are there. Bring them ready-made meals so that they don't have to cook. When they are napping with the baby, fill the dishwasher or wash the dishes, attend to the laundry, sweep up and pick up. There are all small things that all new mothers don't have the energy to tackle the first few weeks after a new baby comes along. You may want to stop short of doing a full house clean unless you are exceptionally close, or unless you are family, but anyone can contribute if they wish to.

There are even smaller things that you can do for new mothers. You can bring in the mail, pick up their dry cleaning, if they have any, or you can even run out to buy them small things that they may need like thank you notes, various things like shampoo or detergent, or anything else they may be running out of at home. You may even just want to pop in on new mothers once a day so that they can jump into the shower which is a luxury during those first tired and endless days and nights when baby first comes home.

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